Tokyo Mindfulness Newsletter #22
February schedule, meditations and letting go of self-deficiency
There tends to be a lot of momentum at the start of the year to get things done, set big goals, and start new activities. What often happens somewhere along the way is that we come across inner resistance. We fall back into old patterns and find ourselves not achieving those goals. Or we have mixed results. This convinces us that we don’t have enough discipline or just don’t have what it takes. So we’re left feeling like we’re not good enough or lack some missing piece of the puzzle.
The problem is that our goals often come from a place of “not enough.” We feel like we should do something and that by achieving X or Y that we will finally have it all together. In other words, our actions are coming from a place of self-deficiency. Indicators of this include emotions like guilt, frustration, fear, anger, endless craving and desire.
Yet it is totally possible to have goals, work on building skills and approach life with a sense of flow, curiosity, love, and gratitude — and feel whole and complete.
The way out of this self-deficiency loop is not to pile on more stuff. It is to pause and intentionally investigate feelings that make us feel deficient. In my own inner exploration, I held old wounds of insecurity and rejection, which drove a lot of my actions. No matter what I did (and although often it felt good), it would never truly be satisfying. It was only through turning towards those wounds and defense mechanisms that I could open up to inner freedom. Paradoxically, this made me more productive but with a fraction of the stress. Here is a little graphic I created to illustrate:
📅 Upcoming events
We’re back to a full schedule for February with several offline/online events. Come check it out and bring a friend!
Every Wednesday Online: Mindfulness Meditation with Misha, 12:00 PM (Zoom)
Feb 6th: Mindfulness Meditation with Marco, 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Feb 11th: Understanding Your Inner Critic Meditation Misha, 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM
Feb 15th: Shake it Off! TRE with Akiko, 9:30 AM - 11:30 AM at Meguro Community Center
Feb 20th: Mindfulness Meditation with Marco, 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Feb 24th: Eye Contact Experiment, 10:00 AM - Noon
Feb 27th: Candle Light Meditation with John, 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
March 1st-2nd: Yamanashi Meditation Retreat: “The Three Truths”
🏷️ Options for discounts: If you plan to attend events frequently, here are a couple of ways to save.
Get a monthly Sustaining Members subscription for 5,200 yen. This gives you access to all of our regular in-person events for free as well as some discounts to retreats.
Get a point card for 11 sessions for the price of 10 sessions (20,000 yen). Pay cash in person or get it here.
🎧 What I’m listening to
A beautiful song I heard on a recent retreat in Bali with one of my mentors, Steve March. A reminder that you are so much more than your thoughts, stories, and emotions.
📚What I’m reading
This was gifted to me by a friend in the community and I have been really enjoying it so far. It captures an extraordinary dialogue between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, centered around a simple yet profound question: How do we find joy in the face of life's inevitable suffering? Over the course of a week in Dharamsala, the two spiritual leaders, who are also close friends, share their personal experiences and spiritual practices that have helped them discover peace and joy even in times of trial.
✍️ What I wrote recently
The other day I was standing in line to pay for groceries when I realized that I’d forgotten my wallet. Normally there would be a reaction, an inner voice that would say something like “stupid! how could you forget your wallet!” Expecting to hear this berating inner critic, I braced myself. I was surprised when instead there was nothing. Silence. My mind felt empty…and then another voice emerged. “It’s okay. Sometimes you forget.” The voice was gentle and kind. It acknowledged the facts. I got on my bike and enjoyed a pleasant ride back to get my wallet. And that was that…Read the whole article below.
🧘 Guided meditation
Touch Points of the Body. Listen on Spotify here.
🌍 What I’ve been up to
I’m just coming back crispy-nosed from a short retreat and family holiday to Bali. The retreat was centered around attachment styles and how feeling safe and secure in our relationships is the real foundation for greater spiritual awakening. I had a minor case of Bali Belly so it was a bit of a struggle, but I came away with some new practices that I am excited to share with everyone through events in Tokyo. Stay tuned for these attachment-related events in March/April.
BTW, I wrote an article about my own attachment insecurities with my partner and the practices that we used to deepen our relationship and trust. Read it here.
📜 Quotes that inspired me
“ It is not possible to develop the capacity to see beauty without developing also the capacity to see ugliness, for they are the same capacity. The capacity for joy is also the capacity for pain. We soon find that any increase in our sensitiveness to what is lovely in the world increases also our capacity for being hurt. That is the dilemma in which life has placed us.
We must choose between a life that is thin and narrow, uncreative and mechanical, with the assurance that even if it is not very exciting it will not be intolerably painful; and a life in which the increase in its fullness and creativeness brings a vast increase in delight, but also in pain and hurt.” — John McMurray
🔍 Looking for an intern!
I am looking for an intern to help with Tokyo Mindfulness events and social media. This is unpaid but you would get access to attend all of our events for free. Your task would be to help promote events and make sure events run smoothly online/offline. This is a pretty cool gig for anyone on a spiritual-healing path that wants to deepen their practice and also give back to the community. Drop me a message if you are interested. :)
Thanks for reading as always. If you found this helpful and want to spread the word, please hit share!
We spend a lot of time stuck in habit-patterns of daily activities that aren’t contributing to our personal growth or happiness. We are aware of this but don’t know how to get off the treadmill.
This year, make the shift you’ve been longing for. I offer 1-1 coaching to help you get unstuck, deepen your presence, and find alignment on your spiritual or healing journey. My approach blends Western and Buddhist psychology, rooted in self-compassion and self-awareness.
👉 Ready to begin? Drop me a message and let’s chat.
Testimonials:
“Misha is a chiropractor of the mind-soul.” - E. Carr
“After only two sessions, I felt like his guided meditations went deeper and uncovered more about myself than hours of behavioral therapy did.” - J.N.
“I feel like I can accept myself and others just as they are. 🙏” - Marina
I enjoyed this newsletter - particularly the beginning piece about new year and goal setting. I just subscribed for more. Thank you